Married in the Storm

Looking at our life, I often feel like I am living in a storm. The clouds are miles tall and spread farther than I can see, the wind is picking up and screaming in my ears, the rain is pelting me… Yet, I know this storm is forcing me to realize a deep need and strengthening me for a greater good.

When I am focusing on God I keep my hope and my joy in His Word and trust that He has a plan. However, when my eyes slip earthward and my soul grows heavy, I see no hope or joy. I get sucked into the cloud and I terror at the storm around me. My focus becomes everything I have done in my life that deserves to be at the epicenter of the storm with the fiercest rain and wind and no reprieve. I feel incapable of controlling my life and I think that this storm will bring the flood that will swallow me whole…

We forget that God set the rainbow in the sky after He sent the rain and the flood. What do we do in the midst of the rain? (Genesis 9:8-17)

Some of us are facing storms in our marriages. The peace, love, and tender care are missing either because we aren’t willing to provide it, or our husbands aren’t. It’s such a painful and lonely place to be when the storms of life come and we feel that, despite being married, we are in them alone. Fortunately, as a child of God, we are not so alone as we sometimes feel.

 Yes, let there be weeping in those seasons — feel the losses. Then wash your face, trust God, and embrace the life he’s given you.

John Piper, desiringgod.org

I think sometimes in these seasons of feeling alone we falsely tell ourselves that in order to be a “good Christian” we must grin and bear it all without ever showing the pain. Even Jesus wept when He felt grief. Despite what it feels like sometimes, you are not the only one going through this right now. It is okay to own that right now you don’t see the rainbow, and it is okay to cry it out and eat the handful of chocolate. I believe the issue is not to wallow in it. What I love about Pastor Piper’s advice on this is that he acknowledges our grief and our need to grieve but still points us back to Truth. 

In the midst of life’s storms we must remember that we are not alone. When we allow ourselves to feel alone and to listen to the lie that there is no one who cares we only feed into our storm. I know that sometimes it can feel very lonely through it, I know that there are times you feel like nothing but physical encouragement will help, and I know that sometimes the tears don’t abate overnight because you wake in the morning still in the storm. I know, because I have been there. 

Sometimes our storms seem to be looming larger now than when we first felt the wind picking up. Times like this I don’t believe you have to go it alone or try to “be strong” through it. Admit that this is hard, admit that you are struggling, and allow your Christian family to help you. Ask for prayer, seek out advice from Titus 2 women, and especially spend time in God’s Word knowing that lasting strength will come from Him. 

How will you weather the storm? My prayer is that you will allow yourself to grieve, allow yourself to feel the pain; but don’t let the pain consume you. Hold tight to the promises of peace and rest in God’s Word. Trust that He has a plan to bring Himself glory in this storm too, you just aren’t seeing it yet. 

8 I keep the Lord in mind always.
Because He is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
9 Therefore my heart is glad
and my spirit rejoices;
my body also rests securely.
10 For You will not abandon me to Sheol;
You will not allow Your Faithful One to see decay.
11 You reveal the path of life to me;
in Your presence is abundant joy;
in Your right hand are eternal pleasures.
Psalm 16:8-11, HCSB