“How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? …” Luke 6:42 ESV
Another day, another argument, and another night of strained communication. When this happens it is usually because one or both of us are not willing to humble ourselves enough to take our logs out; but we are more than happy to work on each other’s specks!
If we desire to have Christian fellowship with each other, most especially with our husbands, then we have to be willing to hear them. It does not matter that in the past you were the one taking the speck from his eye, there will be times you will need him to help clean your eyes too. What does matter? How you choose to respond.
Will you hear what is being said? Will you weigh it against what you know to be true and what God’s Word says? Or will you allow your human nature to rise up and drown out the Word as pride goes to war with the notion that you have sinned and not repented?
It is never easy, and in fact, it is incredibly humbling and painful to have to go to your husband and say that you realize you were wrong and need forgiveness and reconciliation. For some of us, that is all it will take; humbling yourself will be the key to clearing things up and walking toward reconciliation. Unfortunately, for some, it is a long road.
‘…You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother’s eye”. Luke 6:42 ESV
When Humble Pie isn’t enough…
There are any number of reasons that your husband might not accept your plea for reconciliation to begin. Maybe you have hurt him one too many times with an unwillingness to be humble in the past and have calloused his heart; or maybe he is needing to come to a place of willingness to forgive and he is not there yet. Either way, leave him to God and focus on your own sin.
In these moments I have to remind myself that it is ultimately not my husband I should be seeking approval from. I need to be willing to be humble because I recognize who I am and Whose I am, not because it will help me have a better night but because I love Jesus more than self and more than my spouse.
Are you struggling with pride in your marriage and an unwillingness to look at your sin first? Be encouraged that God will give you the strength to overcome this too. It might seem daunting at the moment and it is incredibly painful when you sincerely ask forgiveness and there is an unwillingness to forgive; but, focus first on honoring God and removing your own log. Pray for God to work on your husband’s heart, and stay in humbleness and grace.
I'm Rebecca, a Christian, wife, and mother of three. I lived wrong for a long time, got pretty well slapped with the reality of how sanctifying marriage and motherhood are, and now I am hoping to help others to hold on to Jesus in all the hard parts of life.